What Did She Do? : Chapter 1

July 24, 1980

Dear Diary,

  It's been 3 months since my husband William died. The police say the murderer couldn't be recognized because probably the murderer never left a trace of himself at the crime scene.

I've been starting to think if my husband ever will get justice or not. In April when Will died, I wasn't sure about the difference between reality and imagination. I just prayed to God every hour of the day to make this nightmare go away. To bring him back to me. That I see him laying right next to me every morning and I see that naked butt running off to the kitchen to make coffee for both of us, or that kiss he would give me on my forehead and wake me up so I drank that coffee and say that I am the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to him, or to hear him say that he loves me.

But every morning reality punched me harder in the face than I ever thought. Reality struck me right down and told me to stop imagining him being here with me. Because Will, (sigh) the love of my life is never going to return back to me. 

I won't see that naked butt running off to the kitchen every morning to make us coffee, nor will I feel that kiss in the morning while he served me that coffee, neither would our lips brush with each other and nor will he say that he loves me every morning. 

Without Will around, my life has drastically changed. These walls, they scream his name, these floors are marked by his footprints and every object in our house that has ever been touched by him, they shout to be touched by him again. 

I think I have started hallucinating my dead husband. I've been going to therapy because of that.

Ms. Bubbles says that it's a phase, that I should process my grief. That I should be VULNERABLE. 

I guess that is move on maybe. But without William around, days felt longer than they have ever been. I specially asked my boss to overburden me so I can shove my grief right under the working blanket. But as soon as I unlock my door and get inside my house, it's crazy. 

I remember the time when we used to date. It was everything. It was like a magical fairytale. If I was snow white he was prince charming. 

And the day when he proposed me to marry him. I swear I would do anything to go back to that day and relive the memories of our epic love. 

Terri and Ben called me yesterday saying that they sorta made some discovery when they re-studied every report regarding Will's death. I was intrigued though. I however wasn't able to meet them yesterday, but I sure as hell am going to meet them today. 

Maybe I should leave you in suspense well because I am in suspense as well. Hope that they found something of use. 

Till then,

Stay safe. I'll probably be back in no time.

Emily Downhart

Do you think Emily is hallucinating or is William still alive?

Drop a comment for what you think would happen next?

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aryaruth©